I am sitting on my bed. My back is to a soft pillow, and my legs are tucked under the covers. Boston is rocking my stereo with Rock and Roll Band. That song always gets me excited. I've always dreamed of being a rockstar. My latest facination has been with the bass guitar. I really want to pick it up. The only problem at the moment is money. If I decide to play, I want to be able to drop a few thousand bucks on a guitar. That's not including the amplifiers that I have been eye-balling.  I have a POS acustic-electric Hohner that I am tempted to burn. Yeah, I learned how to play on it. Blistered my fingers from many nights of continuous chords and scales. It rattles horribly... and it doesn't like to hold tune for too long. I also have some strat electric wannabe that Alx (my ex) gave me. There are so many problems with it. There are few things I hate more than cheap guitars. I fall in love every time I go into Guitar Center. Maybe in five or ten years I will be able to afford that $6,000 Les Paul.

I have started to pay my debt to Missouri State University. I owe $1,300 at the moment. I could only afford to pay $100 of that today. I don't make much money. I probably come up with a little over two hundred bucks a month. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I hope I don't get my truck taken away... I have to come up with $175 a month to pay it off. Then I have gas. My gas bill for last month was $200. I have a credit card that Dad gave me to pay for gas. Well, since I am not a full time student at the moment... I have to take over payments for that also. My health/dental/eye insurance will end in March when I turn 19 since I am not a full time student. If I get sick... I will be in debt for the rest of my effing life. I'm literally crying right now. I could always sell my stuff. I have a lot to sell. I might sell my piece of shit guitar... my tv that I never use... my dvr that dad bought me and I haven't used... my old ipod... I'm going to try and sell some paintings that I have been working on. I had a gallery in Springfield that offered to display and sell my work, and I will get all of the money.

I hit a massive dog the other night on the way home from work. He was big, orange, and stupid. I was turning a corner going about 55 or 60 mph and there he was. I didn't swerve... I applied my brakes but took him out. I noticed that as I moved forward there was a griding noise on the pavement. I pulled off onto a small side road and put on my hazards. At this point, I called Chris and explained the situation. He told me to call the cops and get a report. I dialed 911 and asked for an officer to come and help remove the bumper that was halfway dragging the ground. It looked pretty bad. I wanted to cry. It was cracked in the middle and half was hanging off. The officer arrived 40 mintues later. He told me that unless we located the dog's owner, there was nothing he could do about the damage. My insurance wouldn't cover the damage anyway. So, he helped remove the rest of my bumper and we tossed it in the back of my truck. He told me to be careful driving home and blah blah blah that whole speach. I wanted to cry. I have a body kit on my truck... so I will have to find a bumper that would fit. It shouldn't be too expensive. It was fiberglass. But, it isn't exactly on the list of most important things for me to buy at the moment. I have more dire things to worry about paying for. *sigh*

Peace, Love, and HOPEFULLY A WINNING LOTTERY TICKET FOR ME!

-JB

*twitch, twitch* It itches so bad! Eh. It is strange having a tattoo that I can't see. Sometime in the near future, I'm sure that I will become unaware that it even exists. As for now, it is too itchy and peely to ignore. It is a nautical star (black and white). I will post pics within the next few days. Right now it's a little ugly because its peeling. La, la, la... It got it done on Halloween. It was about six in the evening, and the artist was closing up the shop. This was at Requa Ink in Nixa. It was a very "spur of the moment" decision to get a tattoo. I dragged my buddy, Jessica, with me. We had plans later that night, so I took her. I walked in and started talking to the artist. Heh, I can't even remember his name. He looked very familiar though. He said that he worked at Walmart also. He had full sleeves and gages in his ears. He was wearing a white bandanna. I believe he is twenty two or twenty three years old. Ooolaalaa! Heh, just kidding. Never really been too attracted to that type of guy. Anywayz, I've always had a facination with stars, so that was automatically the first thing that came to mind. I'm constantly drawing nautical stars. They can be found scattered through my sketch books. I told him that I wanted it in black and white. I'm not a big fan of color tattoos. I think the classic blacks, greys, and whites are the most beautiful. He resized the one I picked out and stuck it to the lower part of the back of my neck. He got it crooked the first time and had to redo it. Jessica sat on the bar with her head layed down on the counter. She looked tired and a bit distraught. I invited her to sit behind the counter with me. She took the guy's rolly chair. Heehee. He had to get another stool. I love the feeling of the needle on my skin. It's more of a pleasure than a pain, I think. It didn't take that long... which worried me a little. I know he was closing the shop when we came in, and I'm sure that he wanted to get out take part in "Halloween fun," and go to pub crawl.  My blood mixed in with the white ink, and it appeared orange! Creepy. He said that it would take a bit longer for the white to look natural. It shows scabbing more easily. He bandaged me up, I gave him sixty bucks (ten was a tip), and left with Jessica to go to her brother's party.

 I did not have fun there. This was only my second time drinking enough alcohol to get me drunk. I went beyond drunk this time... because I didn't know my limit. Well, now I do! heh heh. In a span of an hour and a half to two hours... I went from sober to stumbling around. Jessica was still sober. She wanted to pick up an older friend so he would buy more vodka. She wouldn't leave me at the house because there were a lot of guys at the party, and she didn't want them "taking advantage" of me. Her and Lexus loaded me up in the car and we left to pick up Matt. I have MMA training with this guy. He's pretty cool, and I would trust him with my life. He's one badass fighter. We got to his house.  I had no clue where I was at. Everything was spinning and I just wanted to puke. As Jess pulls into his driveway, I open the door and fall into the grass... I barf. Matt just starts laughing. Jess and Lexus get me back into the car and we drive about a block and I'm telling Jess to pull over again. She does and I puke in some old lady's yard. They are urging me to hurry, because there are cops everywhere, and obviously... I'm drunk, and a minor. We get back to the appartment. I don't even remember the trip from the car to inside, or how I got there. I just remember laying with my head on the toilet... still puking. Chris called me. I could tell that he was worried. I remember that he was yelling at me. "Jessica! Why did you do that? Why did you drink so much?!" I'm not sure what my reply was. My speach wasn't too great at the moment. As I was hunched over the toilet, Jessica's brother is right next to me, barfing in the bath tub. Samantha Lance and Rachelle Caldarazzo show up. Racelle is Jessica's brother's roommate. That's crazy shit. Anywayz, I really wanted to say hi and talk to them, but I couldn't. The only thing I could come up with was pulling down the back of my shirt to show them my tattoo. Then I began puking again. They moved me to the other bathroom. Some guys were giving me bottles of water. I was puking that up too. I got to the point where I couldn't stay awake anymore. I fell asleep on the toilet, and slipped onto the floor in a pile of dirty clothes. Tony picked me up and put me in Rachelle's bed. Matt said that he and Jess covered me up. They also found my cell phone and laid it next to me. I didn't discover this until four in the morning. I was passed out on the bed by ten. I didn't get to have any fun with my friends or anything, because I was completely trashed. I will never do that again. To be honest, I had no clue how much vodka would get me drunk. I sure found out the hard way. Jessica even warned me as I was making my drink... I should have listened. Fuck.